Emotional Intelligence in Conflict Settings and Beyond

Over 100 years ago, Dale Carnegie said that “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” And not much has changed since. Our brains are hard-wired to make us emotional creatures – our feelings are strong motivators of our behavior. When emotions are high, it is hard to think clearly. In face of danger or under stress, the brain puts out a rush of adrenaline that drives the blood from our brain and into our limbs where it can help us fight or take flight. Emotional reactions diminish our capacity to be resourceful and creative, which is particularly detrimental in workplace settings, but also personal relationships. This is where emotional intelligence (EQ) comes in. In the words of Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is “the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships”. In recent years, it has become increasingly apparent that the quality of our relationships and how we are perceived in the workplace depends not just on how smart or how qualified we are, but also on how well we manage ourselves and our interactions with others, including the emotions involved.